Gratitude does not come easily to me. No matter how big the smile on my face or the hope in my heart, I’m wondering what else there is. Or if this is all there is. I cannot easily list my joys as all this gratitude journals that Oprah made popular hope I will do. I’ve tried. Really.
I’ve tried hard to list every delight but joy feels too hard to name. Is it the best thing that there is? Is it that bliss beyond happiness and then how do you ever really know that this is it? Could there be more? Shouldn’t there be more?
"We are meant to live in joy. This does not mean that life will be easy or painless. It means that we can turn our faces to the wind and accept that this is the storm that we must pass through," writes Desmond Tutu in the Book of Joy he authored with the Dalai Lama several years ago.
Here are three wonderings about the power about joy.
Where does joy live in you?
When is joy ordinary and when it is glorious?
How is joy created?
Take these wonderings into your prayers. Grovel with them on your knees. Fight against them in dance. Sketch a response in the corner of your calendar or let these be the questions you share with a trusted friend on a long walk in a place you both adore. Give space for these questions and every question that emerges from stepping into understanding the joy and frustration of having a body.
I so appreciate the beautiful ways that Ross Gay has inspired us to think about joy. This project started with an earlier book on delight where the writer commit to writing something every day about delight and that eventually led to this next book Inciting Joy that is on my night stand right now. In another book of essays also on my bedside table, World of Wonders delights in the most ordinary things that might teach us with new delight. Molly Phinney Baskette wrestles with her cancer diagnosis and what it means to be alive in her beautiful book on joy. All of these books can be found here on Bookshop.
To nudge the spirit along, I’ll share my wandering thoughts in response to these big questions. I hope you’ll wonderings and questions in the comments. I’ll be eager to hear how you are coming to understand the vastness of love’s possibility.
Where does joy live in you?
My head and my heart share a complicated dance. They check each other and sometimes even push the other out. It feels like my head is doing this as I answer this question. My gut answer is heart but my head has other ideas. Still, I want joy to be the very heartbeat of my existence.
When is joy ordinary and when it is glorious?
Ordinary joy is that smile that unexpectedly creeps across your face when something simple happens. A child hands you a flower. A stranger buys your coffee. You notice the color purple in a field somewhere.
Glorious joy is the stuff that makes you feel like you’re going to fall over with delight. It knocks you off your feet because it’s so hard to fathom but so good to behold. It is rare and wonderful. I can’t even think of some way to explain it but it’s what I always want joy to be. I want it to be big and it often keeps me from noticing the ordinary joys of which there are so many more.
How is joy created?
Maybe I’m still stuck not the Easter story but joy always seems to start with surprise. It begins with the unexpected and it can last. It can go and on and on but it never comes when asked. It shows up when it is ready to be found and perhaps when we need it most. I do think that joy can be nurtured once it is found. It can be coaxed and encouraged beyond that first sighting so that it continues to bring delight.
If you find yourself wondering if there is joy for you in this world and it feels like spiritual direction might be a way to explore those desires, I hope you’ll reach out to begin a conversation.