I find that there are too many questions that live within me to offer just one question to ponder. I have a whole slew of questions that challenge and inspire me and I want to find space to share those questions with you.
Spiritual direction, after all, is all about really good questions. Most of those questions come from God. I hear them best in conversation with others especially my directees and occasionally from my children. These questions on hope actually come from trying to answer my six year old daughter’s questions last night when lighting the first candle of the Advent wreath. Here are the three wonderings about hope.
Where does hope live in you?
How do you know that hope is real?
What do you not allow yourself to hope for?
Take these wanderings into your prayer time. Scribble each response. Dance out the possibility. Pour a favorite drink into two cups and let this be what keeps you both up way too late wondering about what really matters. Give space for these questions and every question that emerges from stepping into this curious space.
We need conversation partners to push and expand our understanding so I’m sharing three books that recently inspired me to seek more hope. Rebecca Solnit wrote THE book on hope and it’s the one I go back to when I don’t know how to define this possibility as you’ll see below. You might already know Matt Haig’s book or read this beautiful reminder on the internet. It’s a great read as is Amelia Richardson Dress’ beautiful book on instilling hope in your children. All of these books can be found here on Bookshop.
To nudge your spirit along, I’ll attempt to offer my own answers here and hope you’ll share your responses as they become clearer to you.
Where does hope live in me?
Hope lives in my heart. I reach for it when I am uncertain and long for connection. I clutch it when I don’t know what else to say or do and I’m aware that it keeps going beat after beat when my mind wanders into the unknown. I am keenly aware of this when I hear something true and real and my hand reaches for my heart.
How do I know hope is real?
Honestly? I’m not sure I do except that I heard myself explain to my six year old last night that there are things we are brave enough to believe could happen even if we have no idea how that will ever come to be. This was lost on her and I frustrated myself trying to find better words for something I’m not sure how to name right now.
This morning, I went back to find Rebecca Solnit’s definition again. She writes in Hope in the Dark, "Hope just means another world might be possible, not promise, not guaranteed. Hope calls for action; action is impossible without hope." I find myself wondering now how I might be acting on hope and if I’m not doing that enough to realize what I believe for the future. It’s not a complete answer but it’s still working on me.
What do I not allow myself to hope for?
When I asked my girls last night what they hope for, my sly six year old paused and said she didn’t want to say something that she couldn’t get. That allowed for the conversation in the previous question that left me befuddled.
This morning, I’m remembering a conversation I shared with a new German friend under the twinkling lights of the Ulmer Christmas Market. She was sharing her travel dreams after quitting her job. She hasn’t done it yet but she has a plan and then she asked me what I dreamed. I answered her honestly that I didn’t have any dreams for myself. I haven’t allowed myself this option after having children and following my husband’s military career all the way to Europe where so much feels on hold. I haven’t allowed myself to dream what hope might be and so I’m dipping my toe into that wonder in my journal today.
I hope you’ll share your wonderings and questions with me in the comments and I hope and pray that you find new understanding of what hope might mean for you today.