Sometimes a spiritual life just feels like a life with a mess of scraps that haven’t come together or at least that’s what it feels like my life is right now. Things feel a bit tattered and in need of mending.
Maybe it’s because of all of the things that are happening in the world and it’s hard to know how to make sense of even the most ordinary things when the worst possible things are happening across the globe. In truth, I wish it were as simple as taking the time to repair the seam on a sock so that my toes no longer wiggle in the cold. I pray for solutions so simple in a world where violence seems to be preferred to anything else.
In the midst of these headlines, I added this book of poetry to my cart on the recent recommendation of Laura Kelly Fanucci because as she wisely observes this is a season where poetry makes more sense. She also shared this poem and it’s the line that has repeated in my head as prayer all month long.
I screwed up my calendar more than once this month and it meant that I missed really important things. I still feel horrible especially because I am really good at beating myself up. It has me thinking about the ways we offer ourselves forgiveness. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about forgiveness and the kind of amazing work that people like Desmond Tutu and Antoinette Bosco have done. There are things that make me mad but I spend more time mad at myself which brought me to this good word from Mister Rogers.
All of the sudden it’s cold here in Germany. It happened literally over night which means I get to cuddle under my favorite blanket on the couch in the evening. It was a gift from my stepmother years ago and everyone else also wants a cuddle so we now have two so the whole family can get a little bit of this coziness. I love the feel of this blanket while reading a good book. I am wrapped in it right now, in fact. It’s lovely.
This past month, I’ve spent a lot of time in the kitchen baking. I am not a baker. I do not thrive in measuring things. This is tedious to me and I’d rather a bit more creativity when I cook but my daughter turned six this month.
So there have been cakes and cupcakes to make and somewhere in the middle of this month she decided she loves pumpkin. We had a whole week where every dinner had pumpkin in it including this Turkey Pumpkin Chili (though I used pork) but the real favorite were these Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. They were delicious unless you don’t enjoy the pumpkin and then ignore both of these offerings.
My girls and I leave next week for an adventure along the German Fairy Tale Route where we will get to see and experience the stories of Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty and others first imagined by the Grimm Brothers. I’m packing up every copy of these storybooks we own (which by the way is quite a lot) and thinking about the power within these age-old stories and how even in these happy endings I still want to a different outcome.
Those that know me well know that I start listening to Christmas music waaaay too early for most people but I don’t care. I love it. It gives me joy and I’m really enjoying this album this year.
Where are the tattered edges of your hope right now? What needs mending and what feels like it could be fixed if you just had enough time? How are you demanding another outcome to the age-old story? Where are you finding new meaning and grounding as the calendar turns into November?
If you are interested in spiritual direction and are interested in a first conversation with me, please reach out or go ahead and book an appointment here. I am currently welcoming new directees and would be delighted to explore the holy threads of this life with you.