Letting Stuff Go
Spring cleaning while awaiting resurrection
Though the United States government is falling into pieces and we still don't have official orders that will allow us to move our household from Germany back to our homeland, I have started packing.
Bag after bag is being hauled to the car for the thrift store. Boxes are staggering in the hallways as we try to decide which items will need to go with us on the plane, which stuff we will need right away and which things might take the slow boat that will hopefully one day arrive at our next home.
It doesn’t seem like there are many things that are ending up in those boxes. More and more, items are being tossed into the donation bags that are currently packed into the trunk of my car headed for someone else’s home, hopefully to become unexpected treasure. That 220v milk frother will surely make someone’s morning though we will soon have no use for it just as those board games my children played over and over again a year ago, but never play anymore, will bring delight to other children. I’m doing a lot of letting go in these days.
I am not doing much to hold onto the traditions of Lent this year. I’m thinking back to that year when we shared in spring cleaning as our practice at the church I was pastoring. We collected certain items each week from our excess so that all that stuff protruded from the sanctuary steps, ready to become some one else's blessing. There is enough about this season that is about letting go, releasing and purging what gets in the way of blessing.
While my husband was doing something in one of the nearby offices on base, I flipped through the things at the Post Exchange where I came across a jacket that had a tag on the neckline announcing that this garment had a story larger than your use. There is a similar tag on my children’s snowsuits where you can follow the life of this snowsuit as it keeps child after child warm. Everything has a story, even our stuff. It is a story that is bigger than any one of us can tell.
I wondered about all those stories as I dropped our first large load off at the thrift store today, where my stuff will mingle with the boxes and bags donated by other military families. Blessings heaped on top of blessings, I hope, but it doesn't feel much like Lent.
I find myself, instead, going backward in time, immersed in the possibilities of Epiphany as I try to write the book I’ve always dreamed of writing. I’m spending these days with the wise people and today turned my attention to Herod which seems an apt description for another political leader in the world today. (Or any of the other fascists claiming power on the global stage.) It’s a story I’ve hopped over in the past, when I was a pastor, maybe only by observing the wandering wisemen on social media but as I explore what discernment looks like and feels like with my directees, it doesn't feel like we need more Lent. We need more epiphanies.
Still, it feels strange not to do Lent. I lamented such to my spiritual director in our last session to which she responded, so gently, “The season will still do its work.”
I’m holding onto that faith. We tend a little, creating space. Opening to another story, preparing for whatever possibility resurrection might hold before the cycle repeats again. The story works through us and this is the comfort I need as I purge things out of our tiny German apartment preparing for the next move. Every trip I make to the car, I get to see this row of brilliant daffodils dancing in the rain. Indeed, the season will do its work. It has already begun.
The theologian Jürgen Moltmann once reflected that resurrection isn’t about belief, not about the ideas in your head but in how you “ participat[e] in this creative act of God’s. . . Resurrection is not a consoling opium, soothing us with the promise of a better world in the hereafter. It is the energy for a rebirth of this life. The hope doesn’t point to another world. It is focused on the redemption of this one.”
While it doesn’t feel like enough, at times, this is my creative task right now. Writing my way into epiphany. Wandering with the wise people. Packing all of the boxes and always creating space for rebirth. Hoping for a blessing in every story.
What creative acts are you participating in as you make room for the resurrection?What are the stories you are holding onto right now, those that you cannot let go? What is the stuff you are unloading and making room for new wonder?
Many months ago, I wrote this blessing for one of my directees as she is preparing for her own move. She will move from her apartment to graduated care in a nearby facility, when that spot finally frees from the waiting list. Over the years, she’s held on to a lot of stuff that all has wonderful stories, some of which she has shared with me. I found it buried in my files recently while I was looking for something else, and it reminded me again of how important stories are and how participating the resurrection is sometimes the smallest act of hope.
Blessing What Goes Undone: Another blessing I wrote for to do lists.
In the yellow wood: Which wanders through the famous Robert Frost poem to understand discernment in this moment in time.
The stories we tell: Which includes a prayer practice with my favorite art school hack: viewfinders. (Yes, I went to art school.)
Give me eyes to see: Or how to be amazed at the world around you (again).
Celebrating the whole season: Including 50 practices for resurrection which you can start now. I won't tell.
I too am purging. In my case in anticipation of living in a smaller space with less storage. Actually, the latter is a blessing. Am still working through my boxes of memories - spending time to remember what that memory triggers, giving thanks that it occurred and then gently consigning it to the trash. It is taking longer than I expected, but pausing and remembering is a real positive. In my understanding, resurrection is a reminder to remember - the live and teachings of Jesus. Need to spend more time on that, perhaps. My memories won't last 2000 years, but for now they are precious.