How to deal with your rage
Contemplative Practice for Exploring Anger
Traditionally, this is the day that Jesus blows his gasket. He loses his cool. He throws a complete and total fit. It happens right in the beginning of this Holy Week. After his triumphant arrival into the city of Jerusalem, he has a big ol’ tantrum in the temple.
It seems to me that Jesus had a lot of other moments where his rage could have been expressed, but this is the one we focus on. This is the one story we tell about when Jesus got angry so that it can feel like anger is not allowed. It’s not acceptable. We should be more gentle and kind without ever letting our anger explode.
I was taught to believe that there is no place for anger so that I had to squash down my rage. It lived there, buried inside me, until I learned how to express my anger. Admittedly, I’m still learning. It’s a daily practice especially now when it feels like justice is on the brink. That rage doesn’t only manifest in systems but can inhabit relationships. It can dwell like dynamite stuck in the simplest of human interactions because we feel wronged, hurt, ignored, and even abused. These feelings are real. They are valid. They are worth of space.
Right now, all around the world, rage looms. It is hiding in hurt feelings and broken relationships, separating real people who are just trying to do the right thing. It simmers in the policies extremists make and in the faithful people resisting these authoritarian powers. It is a sensation that calls us to attention, demanding us to do something with that fire inside. It can be explosive and destructive but it is there to keep us safe. Our bodies are telling us that this is important. This matters and we might learn more about it if we are to give it more space. Use the practice below to explore your anger.
Give yourself some space to explore your rage through the words of Dylan Thomas.
Allow yourself to settle into this feeling. You are angry. Now that you have noticed that sensation, notice where it lives inside you. Pay attention to how it feels and go back in time to reflect on where it began. What sparked this rage in you? Was it someone or something? When did you first notice it?
If it feels overwhelming, allow yourself to space to breathe into that intensity. Notice that your anger doesn’t define you. It is within you and it is inviting you to pay attention to something important. What is your anger trying to show you?
The temptation might be to rush back in time to that hurt or pain. Or you might feel compelled to speed ahead to that moment of repair and action. Allow yourself space to be in this moment, right now. What is most important right now? Breathe deeply with each passing thought until your anger has shown you some small action to take now. It might be so small that it seems insignificant. It is enough to pay attention to what your feelings are showing you.
I did not anticipate writing a series of How To sort of meditations but it seems to be what I’m writing lately. I feel like I’m the last person to be writing such things and think instead that I should just be referring people to
’s wonderful podcast. And yet, I’ve another post next week following this theme. Still, I wonder, what kinds of how to guides does your spirit need right now? What do you need help with right now? I would love to hear your thoughts.
The practice of mercy: When finding your breath leads to song.
How to pray for others: A practice for when you are not angry at everyone or everything. Or maybe just the practice you need for your anger and relationships.
The stories we tell ourselves: Noticing what part of the story really matters in Holy Week and always.
Celebrating the whole season: Including 50 practices for resurrection.
